Attack of the Beard

Yearly blog post. Attack of the Beard.

Simon with a beard drinking a beer

Medieval Hoodie

Wearing armour in winter is pretty important. Why not flash back to the medieval period with a fashionable hoodie?

Medieval Hoodie

Got married

Got married, 19th October, 2013.

Newly weds at Carriage Works, Redfern

The Purr of the Singapore F1

I've relocated to Singapore. The weather is wicked and I arrived just in time for the F1. Everyone talks about the noise, it is pretty special the first time you hear about.

Slamming Beaches

Back when the days were long and the nights short I introduced the crew to beach volleyball at the Manly SLAM Beach Volleyball Festival. Being a seasoned amateur I introduced the young fledglings into the art of fancy dress volleyball.

Slam Volleyball Beach Patrol finger point

With the theme being 'Beach Patrol' we sported matching singlets, shorts and of course police style peak hats. Absolutely essential in any fancy dress sporting event.

Fortunately the rules are relaxed and the court is surrounded by inflatable barriers. Each team has six eager beavers bare foot and momentarily sky high spirit.

Slam Volleyball Beach Patrol finger point

Buyinvite entered two teams with the premise of strength in numbers. Both teams progressed out of the round robin matches though the A team didn't a last a single sudden death match. The almighty B team was robbed by a troubled referee. Missing out on competing in the quarter finals.

This being my second SLAM Beach Volleyball Festival they still are in my eyes a beach party where volleyball happens to be played. With summer finding it's way back be sure to put your name down for a little fun with your mates in the sun. After the the sun sets, nurse your wounds at the closet pub!

Slam Volleyball Beach Patrol finger point

Get Younger

In April I was apart of a team who developed and deployed Younger You (YY). YY is a corner of the Internet for sourcing a variety of anti-aging advice. Luckily not everything needs a scalpel, butter knives can get you a few quick wins.

The launch event was an experience for an ordinary bloke. Hosted at True Solutions invited guests were treated to the offerings of Spa Universe (think day spa). With possibly 5 gents in the room and another 40 women we tried to amuse ourselves with idle banter.

YoungerYou Launch Event

Very quickly after the formalities Spa Universe representatives ushered/forced us to get treatments. Typically targeted to holders of two X chromosomes I was convinced to relax in a dentist chair. Next came the some tanning salon goggles and a LED lamp an inch away from my face.

In front of my face with burning red LEDs was an OmniLux lamp smothering me with rejuvenating rays. The intention is by firing a specific wavelength it will stimulate damaged cells to repair themselves. Of all the things it could fix, sun burn was the only one which got my attention. Putting up with this light therapy for 20 minutes I then was guided to a facial.

YoungerYou Launch Event

Now lying flat along a massage table a concoction of 'bare minerals' came in contact with my face. I was assured that the treatment was more then my face being washed a number times. Afterwards I was asked if I could notice a difference. Firstly I wasn't expecting any and I didn't really go in for a before look. So I may as well have had my face washed a couple of times.

An interesting experience overall though I have not partaken in the above treatments since. I'm pretty happy with my skin having a dash of acne. Running through a mud bath is more my thing.

Bloke Toughness Test

Tough Bloke Challenge competitor covered in mud

A way to test one's toughness has been devised. The Tough Bloke Challenge is a 6km obstacle course. Blokes (and blokettes) are tasked to run, trudge through mud and climb adult play equipment on a Saturday morning. Individual categories break up the field into age groups and a super human elite category.

It looks like a load of fun, and it's a little different from the local fun run. I've signed up and quite frankly can't wait for the day to come.

The Tough Bloke Challenge is held in Appin (NSW) on Saturday the 3rd of July. Registration is 80% full so get clicking and sign up. If can you run solid for 30 minutes you'll have enough horsepower to enjoy the challenge.

See the video below to get an idea what your getting yourself into.

Tailored Armor

It can be such a dilemma deciding to walk out in public either feeling safe or looking good. If your Macgyver, feeling safe comes naturally. For the rest of us, we risk it for the sake of turning heads. You can stop scouring the Internet for that bulletproof Armani man bag. A champion has been found.

In Columbia you can have your favourite threads tailored, with armor. Miguel Caballero tailors bullet proof garments for clients all around the world. Understandably the classic bullet proof vest clientele include the United Nations, police/military and security firms. For the tailored products that change with the seasons Miguel sells armored ties, shirts and jackets to various government representatives and Steven Seagal.

Looking forward, Miguel hopes to help a brother out and target the hip hop market. Though already covered in this blog the Kevlar hoodies and fashionable (non-functional) bullet proof vests have been available online for some time.

The Vice Guide to Travel: Colombia has a demonstration of Vice reporter Ryan Duffy getting shot whilst wearing an armored raincoat. Sources have been unable to confirm whether the raincoat was actually water proof.

Shaved by a Man

Lately I've been able to get away with shaving once a week. Before heading out to the beach I'll do a quick and nasty shave. Rubbing sun screen into a face with week old chin hair makes me an odd looking Santa.

Today's shave is a little different. Firstly I'm not going to the beach and secondly I won't be doing the shaving. Cautiously jumping on an American Crew invitation passed on by Primped I accepted the offer of having a shave, by a stranger.

Up until today the only person who has ever held a sharp implement to my face has been me. Arriving on time at the Grand Royal Barbers I was greeted by American Crew PR reps and fifth generation barber Steve Salecic. Salecic was quick to measure the coarseness of my stubble and offer me a seat in a traditional barber shop chair.

Cut Throat Razor and Shaving Brush

This whole point of this exercise is to promote American Crew new shave range. It can be broken down into two parts: stuff you apply before and after you shave. For me shaving cream is a pretty obvious requirement, most gents who like having skin on there face would agree. Aftershave is subject to availability in my bathroom. I have never knowingly bought any nor do I have the desire to apply any.

Sitting so far back in the chair it felt like a dentist could happily drill away if need be. Then came out the hot towel to loosen those pours that hold everything down. It covered my whole face as if my eye brows needed shaving. Once unmasked, the shaving cream was carefully lathered on with a shaving brush. Eventually after all the preparation and my confession of 'I'm usually done now' the main act appears: the cut throat razor.

This little tool is what shaving should be all about. Using the cut throat is like carrying a loaded gun in your underpants. Things can get messy very easily. Mastering a cut throat is like becoming a marksmen. Carefully shaving with and against the grain Salecic quite happily drags the razor around my virtually non-existent neck.

After all evidence of facial puberty has been removed a cooling after shave is massaged into my naked face. One more hot towel engulfs me and Salecic tidies up. Checking out my sweet cheeks in the mirror I get the feeling of a shave with a brand new razor. With a cut throat and a barber the smoothness is even in those tricky spots.

Upon completion I was presented with an American Crew shaving gift pack, containing: Moisturizing Shave Cream, Post-Shave Cooling Lotion and a nicely weighted razor handle. I'm actually more excited about using the razor handle then the actual products!

Smell like Tom Ford

Being one of the digital cogs in the Estèe Lauder online machine, I managed to score some products. As our little relationship was nearing to an end, they provided some parting gifts!

In this pandora's bag of male beauty products came Eau De Toilette Spray and Hydrating Emulsion from Tom Ford. Simple, one is a spray and the other hopefully hydrates skin.

Hydrating Emulsion from Tom Ford

Coming home from a beach run I reread the instructions. The spray was pretty much self explanatory printing nothing but ingredients. Further investigation reveals that the spray, like Viagra, comes from the wood family of fragrances. The hydrator details how rubbing it into your body is a seductive way to smell like Tom Ford. Whilst softening and soothing your skin.

After removing what was left of the beach in the shower I cracked open the hydrator. Squeezing the tube I resisted the urge to a discharge a typical sunscreen portion. Smelling like Tom Ford on a quite Monday night didn't seem all that desirable.

Rubbing it into my chest I felt like a knob. Rubbing it into my face I felt like an even bigger knob. This was going well good. Rubbing it into my arms actually was okay. It was the only place my nose could reach to smell Tom Ford (kind of like the Nautica cologne I got for my 18th). As for my skin, it's still burnt from the weekend.

Eau De Toilette Spray from Tom Ford

Now for the wood infused spray. It looks like something a gold chain wearing pimp would have in his overnight bag. The label and the nozzle are gold. Same for the fragrance in an urine kind of way. After not having a shave I applied the spray. Of course in the same way every kid who has seen his dad apply after shave or cologne: quickly. Quickly because if its going to sting, let it hit all at once. Three sprays around the neck. If your pumping out more then five your wasting it. As well as openly advertising yourself to mosquitoes.

So now that my arms smell like Tom Ford and my neck like my dad I wonder what is next. I only get this stuff as gifts and rarely use them to the end. For the next couple of mornings I'll dig deep and use this stuff again. In all honesty these products are only going to be used when going to social events and BDSM classes.

Now only if I can get Holden to show some love as well...

Syndicate content